Inner Battle…
Happy Friday!
One week until Christmas… two weeks until New Years… and then we’ll be in brand new 2016! I recently read a post called Enough with the “Vanilla” Blogging by one of my favorite bloggers: Besos from America. In summary, her blog post was a brief piece about the reality that many bloggers these days only post and share pretty things… their lives are seemingly perfect, with the biggest flaw being, like, a cookie that doesn’t bake shaped to perfection. No one shares raw and vulnerable details anymore… I shouldn’t say no one, but few do. Including myself.
So as 2015 comes to an end, I’ll share some raw and vulnerable details about myself lately…
I started 2015 with a boyfriend. In my post Refresh, I wrote vaguely about how our relationship ended. This year started off really tough, and really real. I fled from that toxic relationship, stayed single for only a month or so… then unfortunately, found myself in another awful relationship. I thought I met Prince Charming, but he was really still a frog. Well, since he cheated on me (A couple of times! Probably the entire time!!), he’s really not even worthy of being called a frog… more like pond scum, yeah?
So I’m closing in on the end of this year feeling deeply saddened. Saddened by the fact that I am a caring and loving woman who has a lot to offer. I know this. I’m confident. But I feel like I’m going to keep picking the wrong guy. It’s to the point where I battle, on a daily basis, between considering being single for a very long time, and the prodding fact that my heart feels very alone.
I can honestly feel the loneliness beyond just a thought provoked sensitivity. My emotions are physical. There are chest pains from heartache, and an overwhelmingly foggy covering upon my body that weighs me down. I feel betrayed by love, and maybe I’m a bit naive, or was naive, but I still can’t believe how some can be so selfish, manipulating, and deceiving. Like, really?…
On a lighter note, I am keeping positive. I have a lot to be grateful for; and plenty of interests, responsibilities, and goals to keep myself busy and excited for the future. Regarding All the Cute, well, I hope I can keep my blog going in 2016. I hope it gets better and better! I have many ideas just waiting to be shared and put into action… and while I share my favorite style picks and fashion ideas with you, I’ll try to incorporate some posts that are more real, more personal, and less vanilla.
With Style & Love,
♥
Amber
P.S. sorry about the selfie! This was a last minute post. Well, sorry not sorry… hehe.